


Doujinshi Stories: A Perfect Monster

by Animom



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Genre: Heart of the Cards, Humor, Jealousy, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-03
Updated: 2010-06-03
Packaged: 2017-10-10 10:35:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/98802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Animom/pseuds/Animom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was a clearly-stated arrangement of mutual exploitation. Perfectly clear. No strings attached.</p><p>** Retelling of a doujinshi by Miki Kujyo & Dreamworks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Doujinshi Stories: A Perfect Monster

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Yu-Gi-Oh is the intellectual property of Kazuki Takahashi and Konami, and is being used in this fanfiction for fan purposes only. No infringement or disrespect is intended by this fanfiction.
> 
> This story is a retelling of _MONSTERS, Inc. Perfect_, a wonderful 2002 doujinshi by Miki Kujyo and the circle Dreamworks.

.

.

* * *

**A Perfect Monster **

 

_by Animom_

* * *

.

.

It was Friday morning. For some reason – fire drill, bomb scare, plague outbreak, cafeteria crisis – the students had had to evacuate their classrooms just after second period. As they'd lounged on the grass watching clouds, Yugi, Téa, Joey, and Tristan had run through their usual topics of conversation – gaming, idols, homework, food – but with those exhausted they were forced to fall back on gossip. The current targets were the captain of the tennis team and the head cheerleader.

"I heard he's dating her because her dad could get him a sponsorship after graduation." Téa said.

"She's probably dating him because he's rich," Tristan said.

"Nothing wrong with that," Joey mumbled, looking for a new piece of grass to chew on.

Téa rolled her eyes at him. "I think she's dating him for prestige. You can't do better than captain of the tennis team."

"And she's putting out so he won't date anyone else." Having set up the straight line, Tristan looked at Joey.

"Nothing wrong with that," the blond said, grinning around his stalk of grass.

"You two are awful," Téa said, scowling as she laughed.

"Why's it bother you?" Tristan asked. "_You_ wanna date him?"

"No. It just seems sad for two people to be using each other like that," she said with a shrug. "When there's no romance, no affection, how can you even call it a relationship? Without that, it's like a business deal."

"It's not easy to find someone who likes you in the same way, or as much, as you like them," Yugi said somberly. "So sometimes you have to settle for less than what you want. But maybe that's OK as long as both people understand why they're together and what they're getting."

"I suppose."

"Which in their case is sex," Tristan added with a grin, bumping Joey to prompt him for his line. When the blond didn't comply, Tristan added, "Nothing wrong with that."

"Plus, you can't get strung along," Joey said sleepily, "if it's a no-strings thing."

The other three gaped at him. "Out of the mouths of morons," Tristan said.

"Because there's no string." Joey yawned and put his head on his arm. "To get tangled."

"I rest my case," Tristan said, just as the loudspeaker called them back inside.

As they stood and brushed the grass from their clothes, Joey glanced at the tall, contemptuous figure who had spent the past hour reading alone on a bench near the school's entrance. The book had a green cover, which meant that, for the first time in several weeks, tonight was a go.

.

To make the hours pass faster, for the rest of that day Joey kept thinking about string. There was the idea of the red string – well, or a thin ribbon – that invisibly connected those fated to be together. (Though, how could you tell the string-or-ribbon was red if it was invisible? And what happened when one of the people took an airplane flight? Did the fate-string wrap around the earth, or did it go through it? He'd have to ask Téa or Yugi, they'd know the answer.)

So, string. When Téa had implied that it was worthless if there was no romance or affection, he of course had stopped himself from disagreeing – which was good, because he'd really liked what Yugi had said, that it was enough as long as both people were clear on why they were together and what they were getting from each other. As he dropped his bag off at home and then ran to catch the early evening bus he nodded. It was definitely enough if both of you were clear.

.

Yes, they were clear. After rude comments on the school roof had twice led to impulsive actions, they had arrived at a clearly-stated arrangement of mutual exploitation. On Friday, reading a green book meant a certain door of the mansion would be unlocked after dark. Inside, there would be no talking as for fifteen or twenty minutes they kissed and groped and ground against each other out of sight of friends and foes. Perfectly clear. No strings attached. It wasn't a friendship. It wasn't a romance. It barely even qualified as sex, since it rarely got as far as a hand job. Joey never took an overnight bag; hell, sometimes he barely had time to zip up his pants before the door slammed shut behind him.

For all that, he always made sure that his deck was in his jeans pocket before he went over there. Just in case.

.

Side door. He knocked once, lightly, then opened the door and stepped blindly into the dark hallway. To his surprise, instead of hands grabbing his jacket, instead of a tall hard body pressed against him and burning kisses made ten times better because they were laced with resentment and shame, there was… nothing.

He vaguely remembered the layout of the mansion from the one time he'd broken the No Talking rule to ask to go to the bathroom. (There had been a red-covered book every Friday for almost two months after that. And after that three Fridays of green books that he had ignored, leading to red books every Friday until today.)

He walked until he turned a corner and saw light from an open door. Inside the room Kaiba sat behind a desk, looking at three small stone tablets.

"Joey." It wasn't a greeting; it was a statement of fact.

Since Kaiba had broken the No Talking Rule first by acknowledging his presence, Joey figured it was okay to respond. "Hey, what are those? They look old." He took the opportunity to go around to the back of the desk and stand next to the brunet.

"Isis gave them to me before she left." For once, Kaiba seemed to be speaking normally, without his usual I Am a God and You Should Fall to Your Knees and Worship Me tone. He sounded almost friendly.

"Isis? Oh, the Egyptian duelist chick? What are they for?"

"I don't know. Some worthless family artifacts she had lying around."

"Huh." Joey picked one up. The ancient-looking tablet was like a small picture frame, carved Egyptian symbols surrounding a rectangular depression. "It reminds me of those Millennium item murals, even though there's no eye symbol. And, you know, this part," he traced the center of the tablet with his fingertip, "I think this is about the same size as a card." He put the tablet down, dug his deck from his pocket, and held it over the tablet. "Yeah, same size."

"Hn, true. I wonder what would happen. Let's try it." Kaiba pulled the deck out of Joey's hands and began to rifle through it.

"Hey! Gimme back my deck!"

Without looking up Kaiba replied, "Well, I'm not going to risk ruining any of _my_ cards in some unknown Ishtar occult antique." He made a sour face as he thumbed Axe Raider and Flame Swordsman onto the desk. "What crap."

"But you'll risk _my_ cards?" Joey said, seeing Scapegoat join the pile. When he grabbed his deck back, Kaiba picked up Scapegoat and snapped it into the tablet.

There was a pop, and to their amazement a small smiling pink ball with little ram's horns materialized above Kaiba's desk.

"Look at that. Scapegoat," Joey said. "It looks so real." Without thinking, he reached out to touch it – and, as his finger poked silky fur a splash of giddy happiness hit him. "Wow, a solid hologram?" He ran around to the front of the desk; Scapegoat bumped against his chest, purring. Joey hugged the sweet little monster that had saved his ass in so many dire situations. "Aw, Scapegoat, you're so cute!"

Behind him, Kaiba was grumbling. "How can this be? Physics has laws. How can this thing completely ignore conservation of mass?"

"Lighten up, Kaiba. It's amazing! Touch it and see!" He looked back over his shoulder at the CEO, who was staring at the three tablets. Joey noticed that the tablet that Scapegoat's card was in was now a much darker color than the other two. "Hey, look at that. It changed color. Maybe it can only be used once?"

"Hn. Maybe so."

"Are you going to try another card?"

Kaiba didn't reply; instead he took his deck from his briefcase and pulled out two cards that he laid on the desk.

Two Blue Eyes White Dragons.

"Hey! No fair!" Joey protested. "You're intending to bring out _two_ Blue Eyes?"

"Of course, what else? I'd have all three if we hadn't wasted a tablet on your girly little monster."

"Wasted? _You_ were the one that picked Scapegoat for the experiment! And without it, you'd never have known that it was safe for your Blue Eyes!"

"Well, these _are_ my tablets," Kaiba said. "I'll decide how they'll be used."

Joey couldn't argue with that. But he also knew that the feeling that he'd got from hugging Scapegoat was the happiest he'd felt in months and months, and he wanted to experience that happiness with … with … his best monster. "I'll do anything you want if you let me use another tablet," he said in desperation, knowing that was dangerous to give Kaiba such an opening. "Anything!"

Kaiba turned and looked at him, smiling. It was the scary smile, the one that Joey had never seen unless something unpleasant was about to happen. "Oh? Really? Whatever I ask?" He got up from his chair slowly, walked around the desk and toward Joey in slow motion, and then bent and whispered in his ear.

It took a moment to sink in. When it did, a red-faced Joey sputtered, "I'm not gonna let you do _that!"_

Kaiba shrugged. "You said you'd do 'whatever' I asked, asshole." He held up his Blue Eyes cards. "If you don't accept my terms then keep your mouth shut, and get ready to admire the glorious beauty of my _two_ Blue Eyes."

Joey growled. "OK, OK! I'll do it, but I want my empty tablet now! To use with whatever card I want!"

Kaiba studied Joey with half-closed eyes, tapping his cards against his lips. After a moment he said calmly, "I accept your terms." As the blond snatched the third tablet from the desk Kaiba added with a wicked grin, "Bedtime tonight will be fun, eh Joey?"

_Shit, _Joey thought as he turned away, _what a pervert. Still,_ he calmed a little as he held up the card he'd been looking for, _it's worth it if I get to meet the real Red Eyes!_

.

A moment later, he looked over at Kaiba. "It didn't work. What about yours?"

"Nothing." Kaiba's voice was completely without emotion. If he was half as disappointed as Joey was that his favorite card hadn't materialized he was hiding it quite well.

"Why didn't it work?" Joey asked, pushing down on the Red Eyes card in hopes that it just hadn't gone completely in. "It worked for Scapegoat."

"Well," Kaiba said thoughtfully, "Scapegoat is a Magic card, not a Monster card. Perhaps it doesn't work on Monsters. Or the summon failed. Or maybe the tablet needs a tribute to summon, a sacrifice, like the card does during a duel."

"A sacrifice?" Joey asked with a gulp.

Kaiba looked over at him, then froze, his eyes wide with shock.

"Kaiba?" Joey asked, just before the hands grabbed his shoulders from behind.

.

Joey had survived street gangs by reacting fast and thinking later. Though his responses were a little slower these days they were still engraved on his bones, and so he had whirled, punched his attacker, and shot off a string of swear words before it registered who he had punched.

"Kai – Kaiba?" He looked back over his shoulder. "Wait, there are _two_ Kaibas?" He looked closer at the Kaiba behind him. "Hey – you have blue eyes, but," he leaned forward to peer at his attacker, "_that_ Kaiba has red eyes!" He shook his head. "What's going on?"

"Of course I have red eyes," the newcomer said. "I _am_ Red Eyes!"

"Um … red, red-eyed, Red Eyes ... you're not Kaiba? You look like him, You even sound just like him." Even in his confusion Joey knew better than to add _if someone could finally remove the log jammed up his ass, that is._ He looked from the sweetly-smiling Kai— er Red Eyes — in front of him back at the frowning Blue Eyes — er, blue-eyed Kaiba — behind him. "What do we do now?"

"It's your doing. Fix it!" blue-eyed Kaiba snapped.

"My fault?" Joey bristled. "How is this _my_ fault? They're _your_ stupid tablets!"

"You were angry at me when you used it," Kaiba said, glaring at his double. "Because you were thinking of me, you summoned this weird fusion creature."

"Master, it's true," Red Eyes said. "I clearly heard your call, so I gladly emerged and came to you."

"Well, yes, I did summon you, " Joey said grudgingly. "But why do you look like _Kaiba_ of all people? The Scapegoat emerged just fine."

Red Eyes shrugged happily. "When you called to me, Master, I came because I knew how often you have been without someone to talk to."

Kaiba huffed scornfully.

"But in my dragon shape," Red Eyes continued with a small smile, "it might be difficult for us to communicate. So perhaps that's why I emerged in human form?"

Joey stared at him, disbelieving.

"This way, my true Master," Red Eyes said, putting his hand tenderly under Joey's chin, "we can finally meet. I am so grateful to get a chance to thank you for valuing me, and to tell you how happy I am to serve you in so many duels."

Joey shook his head. How did this guy know that the Red Eyes Black Dragon was the best card in his deck? That it had led him to victory, again and again? Unless… He looked deep into the red eyes, and as the not-Kaiba's fingers stroked his face Joey felt a powerful jolt of deep connection. "Really? You really are… my Red Eyes Black Dragon?"

"Yes, I am."

Joey gave a sob of joy. "Are you serious! _RED EYES!_" He threw his arms around the dragon and hugged him tightly.

"Master!" Red Eyes hugged him back.

It was wonderful for all of ten seconds or so, until Kaiba yanked them apart.

"What are you doing?"

"You should be more cautious, mutt!" Kaiba hissed, then glared at Red Eyes. "Who does he think he is, posing as me?"

"Posing as you?" Joey snarled. "He doesn't need to _pose_ as you. He's a hundred times _better_ than you! He's been nicer to me in the last two minutes than you have been in the last two years! No book signals, no side doors. He came here because he _wanted_ to be with me, not because I'm just something convenient when he's horny and tired of his hand. Red Eyes," Joey added with a final jab, "is _special_. As special to me as I am to him."

"Is that so?" Kaiba's eyes were narrowed.

"Yeah." Joey put his arm around Red Eyes' neck. "In fact, whether you like it or not, now that Red Eyes is here I think I'm going to spend my time with _him_ instead of _you_!"

Kaiba stood perfectly still and seething for almost a minute – then he rushed to his desk, picked up Scapegoat's and Red Eyes' tablets, and smashed one of them to the floor, grinding the tablet to dust under his boot. The beatific furball faded away. "Interesting," Kaiba said with a sneer. "If I break the tablet the monster is destroyed."

"You _jerk!"_ Joey said, leaping behind the desk to snatch Red Eyes' tablet from Kaiba's hand. "Why would you do that?"

"Give that back, Joey! Or else!" Kaiba lunged, but Joey dodged around to the front of the desk.

"If I do, do you promise not to break it?"

"Of course." Kaiba's eyes glinted with fury.

Joey looked up at him like a whipped dog. As soon as Kaiba's eyes softened a little Joey grabbed Red Eyes' arm, dashed out of the room and across the hall, and slammed and locked the heavy wooden door in the pursuing Kaiba's face.

"_OPEN THE DOOR, YOU ASSHOLE!_" Kaiba pounded so hard the door's frame rattled – but it held. _"Joey!"_

"No way!" Joey yelled back. He probably imagined it, but he could have sworn that he heard Kaiba growling. After a moment, stomping footsteps receded. "I think he's gone."

"Master?" Red Eyes looked bewildered. "Why are you so upset? Is it because that guy got so angry at you for choosing me?"

"Upset? No, I'm not upset." Joey got a faraway look as it dawned on him what Red Eyes had said. "But you're right, he _was_ mad. Really, really, mad. Usually when people get that way they take a while to cool down. So just to be safe, we better stay in here a while."

"If that's what you want, " Red Eyes sounded dubious. "But I think you are holding something back, Master. You say we should hide from that guy," he tilted his head, "but I can see from your expression, Master, that you're not afraid of him."

"Well," Joey rubbed the back of his neck, distracted. "Um, I was worried that he was going to smash your tablet and… wow, I can't believe that was _Kaiba!_ He really lost it when I said I liked you better! Banging on the door and… That's," Joey bit his lip, "I don't think that's usual for him." He had to admit, he had been a little worried back there – Kaiba's expressionhad been clearly murderous – but the CEO was sure to be back to his scoffing, cold-hearted, no-strings attached, didn't-care-about-anyone-other-than-Mokuba manner soon.

And until he did, they were safe in here. With that thought, he realized that Red Eyes had been talking: the last bit caught Joey's attention.

"… so I'll remain with you and keep things quiet and uneventful, Master, even if I have to kill that guy for you!"

"What?"

"So that's settled." Red Eyes was looking at him thoughtfully. "It's the least I can do for you, and I am happy to do it, even though it's no less than my duty. I have other ways to serve you, too. Such a wonderful human. Such a handsome Master."

"Er, Red Eyes," Joey laughed nervously, "You're joking, right?"

In answer, Red Eyes leaned in, took Joey's chin in his hand, and kissed him tenderly on the lips.

"Gah!" Joey pushed the dragon away and staggered back. "Re – Red Eyes! Y – you – what – ?"

"I'm serious," Red Eyes said earnestly. "That guy is not worthy of you, master. I can give you ten thousand times more affection."

Joey stared at him, horrified.

"Master…" Red Eyes said softly.

"Er – Just a – I, I'll – " Joey started to say, but Red Eyes moved on him.

The kisses were so sweet that Joey's protests melted away, and the feel of the strong arms embracing him made him happy. Kaiba was not a hugger.

And then Red Eyes rubbed the front of Joey's pants.

"Hey! Red Eyes! Stop – _ah._" He couldn't believe that Red Eyes, _his_ Red Eyes, was doing this sort of thing. Being groped by Kaiba in a dark hallway was one thing: this was different, and as good as it felt, it also felt wrong.

Well, more wrong than being groped by Kaiba in a darkened hallway always did.

"To receive pleasure," Red Eyes whispered, "would Master like that?" He pushed up Joey's shirt, licked his stomach, sucked and lightly bit his nipples, then – all the while ignoring Joey's halfhearted protests – unzipped his jeans and took hold of him. Joey groaned, mesmerized, at the sight of the dragon's large hand stroking him: a clone of Kaiba's in appearance, he realized that that's what it would look like if Kaiba ever – and with that thought he came. It was fantastically, blindingly, spine-meltingly good. Man, if this was what affection added to sex, Joey decided, Téa might have been right after all.

"Master," Red Eyes, whispered again, his voice now husky. He licked his fingers, whispered something, and then slid his hand down the back of Joey's pants, his wet fingers sliding between, gently but insistently probing where no one had ever gone before.

"Whoa!" Joey gasped, just as the door behind him crashed open. "I'm not ready for _that!"_

"Stop it!" Kaiba, holding a huge keyring, was shaking with rage. "You bastard! You – " He stalked towards Red Eyes as Joey quickly re-zipped his pants. "Let go of him, NOW!"

"Kaiba …"

"I SAID LET GO OF HIM!" Kaiba grabbed Joey and yanked him away from Red Eyes.

"Master!"

"Hey! Ow! You're hurting my arm, Kaiba!" Joey tried to pull away from the iron grip squeezing his forearm.

"HANDS OFF!" Red Eyes roared, flames leaping in his eyes as he hit Kaiba with a blast.

Kaiba slammed against the wall and slid down. "What the… ?" he gasped, obviously dazed.

Red Eyes glared at him.

Joey ran to him, knelt and looked him over. "Are… you OK?" He was surprised at how worried he felt. Worried that Kaiba had been hurt?

Yeah, he was.

Kaiba looked up at him, blinking slowly.

"Don't worry, Master," Red Eyes said coldly. "That guy doesn't care about you. But now that I am at your side, he doesn't matter."

Joey turned and looked up at the dragon. "Red Eyes…"

"I will allow this unsightly thing to exist for now," Red Eyes continued, "but once I have become Seto Kaiba, I will extinguish him."

"Is that so?" Kaiba recovered a little, as his fighting hackles were raised. "This – _card_ – thinks it can wipe me out and take my place? We'll see about that."

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Joey had had it. Both red and blue eyes looked at him in surprise. "Why can't there be two Kaibas?" he asked Red Eyes, taking hold of Kaiba's arm protectively. "You can't extinguish him, Red Eyes… I won't let you do it! _He's special to me!_"

Red Eyes was stunned, but not nearly as much as the real Kaiba. "What," he said wonderingly. There was genuine amazement on his face – but worse was the way his eyes widened, as if something had clicked into place. "Special?… I didn't think you…"

Joey jumped away from him in a panic. He hadn't meant to say anything. Kaiba didn't want strings. _He_ didn't want strings. Admitting he cared – that probably seemed stringy. "Er – No! Ah! That is…"

Red Eyes addressed Kaiba. "Do you see, how he is protecting you from me?" When Kaiba nodded slowly Red Eyes continued. "Just as I protect him and the Blue Eyes protects you, so have you two now been protective of each other. Both of you should think about what that means."

_Very_ stringy.

"Kaiba, to remove the threat to you, Joey would even smash my tablet on the floor." And then Red Eyes smiled serenely. "Isn't that right, Master?"

Joey, red-faced with embarrassment, clutched his head in his hands for a moment, then without a word handed the tablet to the dragon. "Yeah, but I can't do it." He closed his eyes and winced as he heard the ancient stone crack, but when he opened them Red Eyes was still there.

"I do want you to know, Master," Red Eyes said calmly, "that I was bluffing before. I'm not able to extinguish anyone."

"Bluffing? _Bluffing?_" Joey was aghast.

"The threat I made was useful, but I couldn't have carried it out. Even before the tablet was broken, my powers were limited."

Joey grimaced. "What – is that so?" Then he understood: Red Eyes had simply wanted to shock them into honesty. Though – even his affection was a bluff? "It wasn't _all_ just an act, though, was it?"

"Oh." Red Eyes seemed to understand: he knelt down, leaned in close, and then said, "But of course it was, Master. What else would it be?"

And then he winked.

"Ah. Sorry. A bluff. I see." Joey felt relieved. "It seemed to be… wow, you sure had me fooled."

Red Eyes smiled at him, a little sadly now. "Don't worry, Master. It was nothing more than mischief." He started to stand, but staggered and dropped back to his knees. "It seems I have to leave you now."

"Huh? Really?" Joey said with a cry. Since Red Eyes hadn't disappeared when his tablet was destroyed, Joey had hoped that he'd escape Scapegoat's fate.

"I'm really pleased that we met, Master." He bowed. "Thank you for calling me."

"Red Eyes…" Joey's eyes were brimming with tears.

Red Eyes glanced at Kaiba, who had observed the previous conversation sternly but without comment. Once the dragon saw that he had Kaiba's full attention, he whispered, "Well, goodbye, Master," and moved in as if to kiss Joey again.

"Why, you BASTAR – " Kaiba exploded, but Red Eyes had disappeared.

Joey swiped at his eyes with his sleeve as he stood. "Aw, he's gone."

Kaiba started to turn away, his face stony, but then changed his mind and instead pulled Joey to him in a fierce embrace.

"Kaiba?" An astonished Joey asked.

"Why are you making that sad face?" the brunet muttered. "Don't tell me you liked the way that card drooled all over you just so he could feel you up?"

Joey laughed a little. "What? Don't tell me you were jealous? You?"

"I was." He cleared his throat. "What I said before – I won't force you to – do what I asked. You're free to go."

Oh. _That._ "I don't mind staying, though. And – you know doing… _some_ of that. Once. If you still want to." Joey looked up, hesitantly hopeful.

"I do."

Kaiba was stroking Joey's cheek. His touch was not as gentle as Red Eyes had been, but it didn't matter, because the way his blue eyes looked now – not in darkness but in the light, a complex tangle of passion and emotion – Joey was pretty sure he could get used to looks like that. Maybe that was the real magic of the tablet, he thought, that Red Eyes had helped bring them the best victory yet. "I'll stay, on one condition," he said.

"Oh?"

"Buy me a toothbrush that I can keep here. A red one. Or a black one."

"An acceptable request," Kaiba said, and smiled.

It was a smile that Joey had rarely seen, a not-at-all scary one, and he thought that it was much sexier than the stern scowl.

And then, just before he stopped thinking altogether, Joey realized that he and Kaiba had strings after all – and that was clearly OK.

.

.

_~ The end of the story, but the beginning of much more. ~_

_._

_._

_._

 rev 28 July 2017

**Author's Note:**

> About the doujinshi that inspired this story: I had the translation done many years ago, but took some liberties with wording and characterization for story purposes. The book opens in Kaiba's study, and ends with a shot of the third tablet and the line (and then they forgot about Blue Eyes.) Miki also said in her forward that she imagines Jou to be a virgin, so I tried to communicate that here as well (it's a reversal of what I usually assume for Jou and Kaiba :p)
> 
> Many thanks to my beta **Rroselavy** for her sharp eye, insightful comments, and gentle prodding, and to She Who Prefers Not to Be Named for translating this sweetly wonderful work.  
> .  
> 30 Nov 2014 ~ minor edits


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